How to forget someone: 11 practical tips (2023)

You already know that you should move on with your life.

That's clear.

But how is one supposed to "move on" when life seems completely destroyed?

And how do you "leave the past behind" like it's no big deal?

Well, that is exactly what I am going to share with you in today's post.

Because in the last few months I haveget out of a relationship successfullyI thought it was the best thing that ever happened to me and I am going to detail what worked for me.

Here we go…

1. Why is it so difficult to forget someone

There is an old saying: "You never forget your first love."

But it's not so much about her first relationship; It's more about feeling that kind of romantic intensity for the first time that you may not have felt before.

And that kind of feeling is extremely rare; Some of us only experience this with one or two people in our entire lives.

Finally,forget someoneyou loved more than life itself, it's not just about getting over the loss of the relationship.

It's about getting over the loss of that feeling and knowing that you may never feel the same intensity again.

2. Dopamine, the amygdala and why the brain won't let us go

According to some researchers, the dopamine surge we feel when we develop romantic feelings for a new person is comparable to what someone feels when they try a drug for the first time.

It's a kind of intense euphoria that we feed off of, teaching our mind to keep chasing the feeling, regardless of the possible consequences.

We are biologically programmed to neurologically change when we fall in love, and having that love taken away for whatever reason is a lot like taking alcohol away from an alcoholic.

The addictive source of our happiness is gone and our brains need to relearn how to live without these scams.

And that's what makes it so incredibly hard to get over your ex.

3. Understand that it will not be a quick or easy process.

According to the surveypublished in the Journal of Positive Psychology, it takes 11 weeks to feel better after a relationship ends.

However,I found another studio.it takes about 18 months to heal after a marriage breaks down.

The brutal truth is this:

Heartbreak is a grieving process– and it is a unique experience for everyone. After all, love is a confusing feeling.

But you must remember that there is no set time when you "have to" do it.forget someone.

But remember:

Millions of people went through it.separation painbefore, and have made a successful transition to become a better, stronger person.

I can guarantee it.

It took me about three months before I could fully continue. But if I had known then what I know now, I certainly would have gone faster.

4. Get advice specific to your situation

While this article covers the best tips for getting over someone, it may be helpful to talk to a relationship counselor about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and experiences...

relationship herois a website where highly skilled relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations, how to move on. They are a very popular resource for people facing this type of challenge.

Where do I know this?

Well, I contacted them a few months ago when I was going through a rough patch in my own relationship. After being lost in thought for so long, they gave me unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to make it work again.

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5. It is perfectly normal to feel pain.

When a relationship ends, especially one that was so important to your life, you lose a significant amount of meaning in your life.

Because of this, you may feel "empty" or "lost." You may even think that life no longer makes sense.

That's especially true for those who accept their relationships as part of who they are and define themselves as a "couple."

I honestly felt like I lost a part of me and I would never meet someone that amazing.

My life revolved around my girlfriend for almost five years. So when she immediately disappears from you, it's overwhelming.

Five years wasted building what?

But that is exactly what we have to accept. Yes, you've lost a part of you, but it also means you can build a better you once you realize it's gone.

6. Feel the negative emotions and eliminate them from your system

That's the worst part: facing your feelings and accepting that you're feeling them.

But it is important that you take the time to face those thoughts and feelings so that they get out of your system andsurvive separation. You don't want to get depressed when you're ready to move on with your life.

I avoided what I was feeling and pretended that everything was fine. But deep down he was hurt.

And looking back, I started the process ofTo move.

Bibliographical recommendations: 11 ways to stop caring about someone who doesn't care about you

7. Talk to someone who sees it from your perspective

And youthe heart is brokenThe last thing you need is someone standing in front of you and telling you all the reasons why.failed relationshipit's your fault.

Of course, some or all of the blame may fall on you another day, but for now all you need is someone who will stand by you and not try to make you understand the meaning of the experience or how to learn more from it.

I had a friend who reminded me of all the things I did wrong in the relationship. While some of it made sense, it wasn't what he needed to hear. I only felt worse.

Be careful who you talk to about this. Make sure they are emotionally intelligent, positive, and on your side.

8. How was the relationship?

When you're feeling down, you probably tell yourself things like "he/she was perfect" or "I'll do it."never find anyone so good.“

That 's what I did. And looking back, I can't believe how biased my brain was!

But now that I can reflect on the reality of the situation, I can tell you the truth:

No matter how much you've built them up in your head, no one is perfect.

And if the relationship ended, then the relationship was not perfect either.

It's time to look at the relationship objectively instead of being biased about how "great" it was.

What went right? What went wrong?

After a breakup, I think it's important to take some time to think about what the other person really wants out of a relationship.

Men see the world differently than women and are motivated by different things in love.

Simply put, men have a biological drive to feel needed, earn respect, and care for the women they care about.

Relationship expert James Bauer calls ithero instinct.

As James argues, male desires aren't complicated, they're just misunderstood. Instincts are powerful drivers of human behavior, and this is especially true when it comes to how men approach their relationships.

How do you trigger that instinct in him?

in your last videojacob bauerdescribes several things you can do. It reveals phrases, text and short requests that you can now use to activate that natural masculine instinct.

Click here to watch the free video.

The hero instinct is probably the best kept secret in relationship psychology and the few women who know about it have an unfair advantage in love.

9. Avoid social media for at least 2 weeks

Social media is a huge distraction that will only get in the way of your healing process.

Keep in mind that moving forward has to be intentional, and checking your friends' and ex-boyfriends' feeds won't make you feel any better.

Most of us have an ingrained habit of accessing our Instagram and Facebook feeds, but this disconnect eventually helped me realize just how negatively it can affect my mental health.

Now it is clear to me why this was so.

I felt vulnerable and alone after the breakup, and social media is full of upbeat and happy messages, but not necessarily real ones.

It's easy to get caught up in false positivity and feel like we're missing something.

Don't be like me and don't fall into the trap. Use your offline time as a challenge to reconnect with yourself without unnecessary distractions.

10. Now you need to find new sources of meaning.

I'm sure people have told you to "hang out with your friends" and "have fun." Sound advice, but it won't help you find new meaning in your life.

Right now you'll go out with your old friends, have fun, and then go home, sleep alone, and remember that you don't have your ex-lover by your side.

There are many new things you can try to create new sources of meaning in your life. hobbies, travel, music. Take your pick!

Focusing on something new can be hard, but it's an important step in moving on with your life.

11. Find your joy

Now that date nights and romantic getaways are out of the question, you have something else to look forward to. Start small and increase as you feel more comfortable.

Planning a big dinner, planning a trip to the beach with friends, or preparing for a promotion are all great ways to get ahead. The idea is to find something that makes you see the future.

Relationships, when they are good, can bring a lot of joy. Waking up next to your loved one and spending whole days walking, eating, drinking, talking and laughing together is certainly fun.

It's hard not to mourn the loss of that pleasure when the relationship ends. But these moments, wonderful as they are, are just one way to experience joy.

12. Do not go back to your partner, even if you can choose

This is just my opinion and does not apply to all cases, but I think it is better not to gocrawl back to them.

And that's coming from someone who's been through a breakup, and I'm glad I moved on.

However, if you are sure that the two of you would be happier together, you can always try to repair the relationship.

If you need help with this, I always recommend people check out Brad Browning's videos.

Brad is hands down my favorite relationship expert. and in itsimple and real video, share some simple tips that will make your ex run back to you.

This video is not for everyone.

It's actually for a very specific person: a man or woman who has been through a breakup and rightly believes the breakup was a mistake.

brad browninghas one goal: to help you get an ex back.

Watch the amazing free video here.

13. Write what you think and feel

If you are having trouble processing what happened, I suggest that you write down what you are thinking and feeling.

It really helped me. I grabbed a notebook and started writing down my thoughts and feelings.

for the first time sincethe relationship is over, I felt that I had clarity about what I was thinking and feeling.

Writing helps your mind to slow down and structure the information in your head.

It also felt therapeutic, like letting go of my emotions by expressing and understanding them.

14. Sal de tu zona de confort

Let's face it, there isn't much room for adventure and excitement in your comfort zone.

It is understandable that your zest for life has waned after he or she left you.

This has happened to me, but if you want to get your zest for life back, you need to do some scary new things. Expand your limits!

“The comfort zone is a psychological state in which the person feels familiar, safe, comfortable and protected. You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; Change begins at the end of your comfort zone.” –Roy T. Bennett

It doesn't have to be extreme. Even doing something that makes you a little nervous can be great for you.

So think about what makes you a little nervous and do it.

15. Give your days some structure

Leaving a relationship can make you feel a bit lost. Give yourself a schedule so you don't feel aimless.

Even if your schedule is as simple as wake up, eat breakfast, go to work, walk the dog, eat lunch, sleep, you set yourself up for success if you keep moving and active.

Getting Over A Breakup: 4 Wrong Ways To Avoid Them

If you follow the 15 tips above, you'll be on the right track.get over someone you loved.

But it's also important to avoid common mistakes.

Here are some key things to avoid if you wantforget someone;

1. Get a bounce

Why is it wrong?Has anyone ever told you that this is one of the best waysforget someonesomeone come down?

This may work as a short-term fix, but it doesn't really help you heal and adjust.

Resist the temptation to fill that void in your life and use it as an opportunity to learn more about yourself.

Getting back is one of the worst things you can do after a breakup. This common mistake is just another way to break your heart.

I admit my thoughts went there. But the truth is this:

You cling to another person and project your insecurities from the previous relationship without giving yourself space or time to think and improve.

Not to mention that the rebounds are usually flat and shallow. Instead of boosting your confidence, going on a temporary date is a surefire way to lower your self-esteem.

What you can do instead:

• Maintain platonic relationships and seek positivity from friends and family.
• Deal with feelings of vulnerability and focus on being comfortable being alone.
• When you feel lonely, surround yourself with good friends and spend time with them.

2. Keep in touch with your ex

Why is it wrong?Some exes are still friends after they break up, and that's great. However, it is not advisable to keep in touch with the other person immediately after the breakup.

Even if you think you're just being friendly, contact prevents both parties from rediscovering their independence.

You're only prolonging the codependent relationship you have with each other, and you're also at risk of repeating the same mistakes that led to the breakup in the first place.

What you can do instead:

• Don't try to force a friendship right after the relationship. Before you decide whether or not to continue as a friend, take some time to focus on your personal growth.
• Put your feelings ahead of the other person's. Remember that you are no longer required to empathize with their feelings.
• Take your ex's time to objectively evaluate him and reinforce the reasons that led to the breakup.

3. Reconsider relationship decisions

Why is it wrong?A trip to the past rarely ends well.with guilt, loneliness and fear of being alone, it's easy to convince yourself that "it wasn't that bad" and stay in your comfort zone instead of having to face the reality of being alone.

Nostalgia makes it easier to hide the bad things about the relationship and romanticize the whole experience.

When you do that, you forget the real reasons the relationship didn't work out.

What you can do instead:

• Stop connecting with the other person. They are no longer "us". From now on you are your own "you".
• Find peace in the choices you have made. Accept that the past is the past and the only thing you can control is how you move forward.
• Instead of keeping everything in your head, make a list of all the traits you didn't like in the other person. If you cared then, there's no reason you shouldn't care now that the relationship is over.

4. Chat with friends

Why is it wrong?It's tempting to release pent-up frustration and vent to friends, but doing so only reinforces the negative emotions associated with the breakup.

People like to think that gossiping about your ex is a cathartic experience, when in reality it's just a way to ease the bad times and get you even more involved with the whole breakup experience.

It also takes away the concept of self-centeredness. When you talk bad about another person, you get sucked in, which takes away your energy to prioritize yourself.

What you can do instead:

• Focus on love, positivity, and acceptance. do an effortwalk awayof anger and move toward forgiveness instead.
• Ask your friends not to talk about your ex. Remember that who you are now is about who you were during the relationship.
• Encourage your friends and family to be positive about the breakup and to view it as an opportunity for learning and personal development.

Complete

Getting over someone you love is never easy, but it's important to be aware of itYou will eventually get over them and become stronger in return..

By changing your perspective and understanding that being single isn't as bad as you thought, you can engage in activities that will expand your comfort zone and make you realize that there are many opportunities and emotions ahead of you in your life. , even without your partner.

I present to you my new book

To go deeper into what I discussed in this blog post, check out my bookThe Art of Separation: How to Let Go of Someone You Love.

In this book, I'll show you exactly howforget someoneThey made love as quickly and successfully as possible.

First, I'll show you 5 different types of breakups – this will give you a chance to better understand why your relationship ended and how the consequences affect you now.

Then I'll show you a way to help you figure out exactly why you feel this way about your breakup.

I'll show you how to really see these feelings for what they really are, so you can accept them and finally get over them.

In the final part of the book, I'll tell you why your best self is waiting to be discovered.

I'll show you how to accept being single, rediscover the deep meaning and simple joys of life, and finally find love again.

Well, this book is NOT a miracle pill.

It is a valuable tool to help you become one of those unique people who accept, process and...move on.

By putting these tips and practical insights into practice, you'll not only free yourself from the mental shackles of a devastating breakup, but you'll likely become a stronger, healthier, and happier person than ever before.

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You may also be interested in reading:

• Why you lost your boyfriend (and how to get him back)
• My life was going nowhere until I had this revelation.
• What J.K. Rowling can teach about mental toughness